On that note, I find that the older I get the more I hesitate to learn. This is frustrating to me because I have always been someone who loves learning. Anything and everything. I find now if I'm not interested specifically in something I just don't want to deal with it. I feel like I have so little time to learn the things I need to that I don't want to learn anything more than I have to. This is such a terrible rut I'm trying to claw my way out of!
Something that I've been thinking about a lot recently is how the older I get, the more scared of everything I get. My mother tells me this is natural. She claims that eventually I'll get to the point where I won't worry again, but I feel like my life can easily be stunted if I don't check myself. When I was younger, I would do things without worry or care. Now my mind always seems to fast track to worst case scenario. If my husband goes out biking by himself my "be careful!" send off turns into worry and thinking that maybe I should have gone just in case. I can no longer do anything without thinking about the end result, which in turn leads me to saying "no" more often than I would like.
On the flip side, these recent years are the first time in my life I've felt secure in my own presence. I'm happy with who I am, how my life is, the people in my life and so on. It's the first time I can confidently voice my opinions without feeling the need to apologize, I can do whatever I want to do without concern about what others might think of me and I can feel completely settled without feeling stagnant.
I'm a big fan of Ted Talks and I love Laura Carstensen's talk on happiness. Maybe my mom knows what she's talking about after all...
*Note: this isn't me saying "oh gosh, I'm old." It's just things that I've noticed I've felt as I've gotten older.