Thursday, July 2, 2015

One thing in, one thing out...and other musings (on getting older)

The older I get I look back on all the things I thought about people my age when I was younger and I just didn't have a clue. I remember my mom forgetting things all the time and I would be like "Why mom? It's important, why can't you remember?" These days I feel like every time I learn something new, I forget something I've known for years. I keep having to ask my husband whether our weather is in Degrees or Celsius. This is so bizarre to me but in my head I just can't remember it even though I've known it all my life. Does this happen to anyone else or am I just starting to go mad?

On that note, I find that the older I get the more I hesitate to learn. This is frustrating to me because I have always been someone who loves learning. Anything and everything. I find now if I'm not interested specifically in something I just don't want to deal with it. I feel like I have so little time to learn the things I need to that I don't want to learn anything more than I have to. This is such a terrible rut I'm trying to claw my way out of!

Something that I've been thinking about a lot recently is how the older I get, the more scared of everything I get. My mother tells me this is natural. She claims that eventually I'll get to the point where I won't worry again, but I feel like my life can easily be stunted if I don't check myself. When I was younger, I would do things without worry or care. Now my mind always seems to fast track to worst case scenario. If my husband goes out biking by himself my "be careful!" send off turns into worry and thinking that maybe I should have gone just in case. I can no longer do anything without thinking about the end result, which in turn leads me to saying "no" more often than I would like.

On the flip side, these recent years are the first time in my life I've felt secure in my own presence. I'm happy with who I am, how my life is, the people in my life and so on. It's the first time I can confidently voice my opinions without feeling the need to apologize, I can do whatever I want to do without concern about what others might think of me and I can feel completely settled without feeling stagnant.

I'm a big fan of Ted Talks and I love Laura Carstensen's talk on happiness. Maybe my mom knows what she's talking about after all...


*Note: this isn't me saying "oh gosh, I'm old." It's just things that I've noticed I've felt as I've gotten older.

6 comments:

  1. I can definitely relate to this. Never apologize for what you believe in and who you are! You are not going mad, we are just aging and it happens to me all the time. We just need to ask for help when we need it but know we're not crazy! You are wonderful in each and every way and anyone would be proud to be your friend! I am!!! xoxo

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    1. Can I just tell you how much I adore you? I am so blessed and thankful to have you in my life, even if we are on opposite sides of the country haha! You are amazing, thank you so much for always making my day my gorgeous friend! XO -Kim

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  2. Oh I love that Ted Talk!! i actually find myself getting bored so much easier now than I did before, even more so than two years ago and I honestly think it's that we're constantly on with phones and social media that our brains never stop so I feel bored if I'm just sitting on the couch!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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    1. Isn't it so crazy how technology has totally changed our lives, both good and bad? My husband is the same way, if he doesn't have some sort of technological stimulant he falls asleep because he says he's too bored to stay awake. It's just crazy when you really think about it! Thanks so much for stopping in gorgeous! XO -Kim

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  3. Hello talented Blogger! I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Get all the instructions here: http://bit.ly/1dBi1zi :) Keep on writing!

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    1. Thanks so much NeverMind, I appreciate it! I did the post already, check it out if you'd like! XO -Kim

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